Conscious relationships: what does it really mean?
What does a conscious relationship mean – this is the question from which we start this article. Those who read me know that I have been talking for several years about the new relational paradigm – conscious relationships, sacred relationships, deep soul connections that we encounter more and more as part of our reality.
For some time now, I have not used the term “sacred relationships” so much because I realised that it may contain a trap in it. Although the sacredness of the new relationships that are now coming to Earth is a truth, there is a temptation to believe that this type of relationship means to go up on a “high frequency” cloud and never to descend from the frequencies of light and love that you feel continuous, 24/7, for your partner.
The daily truth, however, is that this type of relationship is wonderful and deeply challenging at the same time, requiring every day the ability to transmute wounds, trauma, conditioning, programs. It is not everything about peace, light and love. It is also about commitment, strength of character, determination to cut through illusion and reach the truth at every moment. It is about continuous devotion to something higher than the relationship itself.
It is about the commitment to follow the path of our soul, beyond the relationship itself. It is about the power to keep the other in their highest light, at the same time as we show them the places where they are not aligned with the highest version of the Self. It is about sincerity towards oneself and deep ownership of one’s own wounds. It is about the deep healing of the inner Masculine and Feminine. It’s about getting out of the game “you have more wounds and you’re more unconscious than me.” It’s about putting all projections aside and getting to the essence. And, above all, it is about the spiritual mastery of navigating through darkness and light, every day, with grace and truth.
So today I’m going to talk to you, in the following, about what conscious relationships mean from my perspective.
The conscious relationship is a relationship that supports the expression of your Higher Self, the mission and the path of your soul. It is the relationship that gives you the space to be the highest version of yourself. It challenges you at every moment to grow beyond your fears and comfort zone, beyond your own limitations.
Unlike old relationships, this type of relationship gives us the sacred space not only to put into play our traumas and wounds, but also to transmute them. This is one of the most important aspects that define and differentiate the conscious relationship from the old paradigm of karmic relationships.
The conscious relationship is a sacred space of containment. It gives you daily triggers for all old unprocessed wounds and traumas. It brings to light everything you kept in the shadows. It challenges you to look at unclaimed parts of yourself and all the inner darkness. But at the same time, it gives you space to heal everything you bring to light. For this, it is extremely necessary for the two to have the tools to make room for this type of profound transformation. With the right tools, the sacred container of the relationship can transmute any wound or trauma that comes to the surface. In this way, we go from putting into play the biggest injuries to offering us all the psychological repairs that a safe framework can offer us.
These relationships have a life of their own. They cannot be controlled by our desire for security or to cling to something certain. They can no longer work according to the old model of the classic route followed by our parents and grandparents. Not that there is anything wrong with the classic route.
But this type of relationship can no longer have a predetermined path that is coming from the conditioning outside of us. There are relationships that have a life of their own, determined according to the highest path of the soul of the two. In other words, we will be in this relationship as long as it serves the higher good of those involved. No more, no less. We can no longer talk about that commitment that limits the soul in the old relational paradigm. Everything is fluid now and follows the path we need to follow for the evolution of our soul. Now, we move from the old form of commitment that limited our souls because it came from codependence to a higher reality that unites us: the feeling of devotion. Devotion that goes beyond the relationship itself and the partner itself. It is devotion to the higher path, to the Higher Self of each and last but not least, to the Divinity.
The emotional maturity of both partners is crucial in this type of connection. The connection brings us together, but the emotional maturity makes everything work. And everyone’s commitment to the highest expression of Self.
Another extremely important aspect of these types of relationships is: the greater the love and intimacy you experience, the more your shadow will sabotage the relationship. Because deep and healthy intimacy does not give the shadow space to expand. That means: goodbye drama, goodbye addiction to suffering, goodbye projections on the opposite sex, goodbye mental scenarios, goodbye emotional games, goodbye manipulation. The shadow begins to be slowly destroyed from within, which creates space for a healthy way of being with ourselves and the other. And that means: welcome vulnerability, self-sharing, assuming emotions, assumed discussions, authentic meeting of the other where he is, healthy boundaries. Welcome, emotional maturity! And to get here, we need to want the connection more than we want to feed our shadow.
Then, in conscious relationships, intimacy, love, attraction are things that increase as time passes, the two do their job and access new levels of consciousness together. The old paradigm is saying that all the attraction from the beginning is getting dissipated with time. This is just simply not true anymore. The more vulnerable they become to each other, and hold each other’s space to heal the wounded parts and the more all the inner parts can be brought into the relationship, the more the love, the intimacy, the authenticity, the openness of heart are getting amplified. If the moment comes when the purpose of the relationship has been fulfilled at a higher level, then both partners feel this and, depending on the stage of emotional maturity they are at, they can honour the reality of the relationship from that moment.
It takes a period of adaptation to this new way of functioning and to this new relational paradigm. It is a completely new model. A map of an unknown territory that neither our parents nor those before them stepped on. The whole being, starting with the nervous system, needs time to create new neural pathways to support this new type of relationship.
It takes time and dedication, but it’s worth it. Because when the Masculine and the Feminine can dance together through life in this way, it is the beginning of Heaven on Earth.