Have you ever wondered what exactly means to be a good parent for your children? And how can you inspire them self-confidence?
What is that you could you do, so they might have healthy roots on which basis to create their own fulfilled life?
To be a good parent is not limited to providing food, cloths, access to the best schools for your children. To be a good parent implies developing children’s self respect an self-confidence, creating the basis of self trust and teaching the principles of healthy communication.
But how could you actually create self-confidence in children?
In order to accomplish this, it is important that you have a high self-confidence level, so that to you may, afterwards, transmit the basic principles of self respect to your children.
Should you be able to build, from the very beginning, the basis of a healthy relationship with your children, it is very likely to get along well later on.
Here are some suggestions that may help us having a healthy child, from emotional point of view.
Adopt the positive communication style
Children’s capacity of coping with stress, of being confident and of being self motivated depend a lot on the childhood experiences. Should you analyse your life you may realise this thing. You shall see how much you suffered for not being appreciated by your father and this may be why even today, you feel your efforts are not appreciated, no matter how much you try.
The self concept and the self-confidence, connected to whom you are related to your family and to the others, emerges between the age of 2 and 5 years. The relationship parent – child is extremely important, maybe the most important for the positive self concept of the child.
Children shall relate to you as to a mentor and they would accept and believe everything you consider about them and about life. Because children have not yet the ability for discerning, they would see the world and things around, through your eyes.
Should you use a positive communication model with your children, then you may support them. A child who feels permanently condemned, judged, criticised shall become an adult with a negative self image. Here are some suggestions:
- Pay attention and show respect to your children’s feelings, permanently monitoring the tone of your voice;
- Show respect to your children’s right for own opinion, regardless the age
- Discuss important issues without criticising or condemning
Learn to listen
If you want your children to listen to you, than make sure you are a model for them. Should you constantly ignore them, the message you send is that it is not important to listen and that what the children have to say is anyway insignificant.
As such the becoming adult has no courage of expressing himself, fearing that own opinion are not important for the others.
- Pay attention when your children have something to say
- Make sure you have every day time to spend with your children and to listen in an active manner
- You should not finish or correct children’s sentences – concentrate to understand what they have to say
- Support them in creating self-confidence
- Encourage your children to express ideas and opinions. Make them believe their ideas are good and that their opinion is important. Sometimes, for minor problems which bother you, maybe you should ask your child’s opinion.
Permanently think to what you transmit through body language.
The way you say something is of utmost importance. The children would immediately realise if you are saying something different than what you think. Suggestions:
- When speaking to your children you should stand at the same level with them, so that you may not look like you are dominant
- Keep eye contact with them. Yet remember that teenagers very often do not like this. In such a case, should it be a teenager you talk to, maybe it is better that you talk while walking on streets or while you are in the car.
- Smile! Your child shall better answer to a smile rather than to a frown
- Avoid talking to your children while you back on them or when you are away from them
- Make sure the tone of your voice is soft. Should you scream all you receive from your children is anger
- Frequently embrace your children, regardless their age
- You should not turn up the whites of your eyes, nor should you stamp or heave a sigh in front of your kids. This will not encourage them to feel at their best but rather would seem they are punished for something they did.
Try to use only positive and encouraging words
This would help them feel happy and full of self-confidence.
- Make the most of your kid’s good deeds. Make the most of them for having cleaned up their room. When doing this your kids would repeat their behaviour for which they were praised.
- Thank them whenever they help you at household works or when shopping at the supermarket
- Show them confidence in everything they do. Should you all the time tell them to be careful, to take care not to get hurt they will lose self-confidence.
- Offer them the chance of doing things they like and they do well. Making them feel competent would increase their self confidence.
- Appreciate both their results and efforts. For them it is important to know that failures are sometimes very much ok
- Stop trying to constantly correct their mistakes. Trial and error should be part of their life. They would feel discouraged if criticised every time they make mistakes.
- Make a distinction between children and their behaviour. Try to criticise their behaviour and not the kids. Do not say “You are insolent!” but rather “This time you really overreacted doing this”. The kids, they do need to know that you offer them unconditioned love
- Do not assume they know how much you love them – just tell them you love them, as often as you can
- Tell them what you would like them to do rather than what you do not want them to. Instead of telling them “Don’t walk this close to the street”, tell them “Come closer to me”. It would be a lot better should they not be obliged to permanently hear NO.
The best way to make sure our children are developing healthy self perception and self- confidence is to encourage them.
It is free of charge to frequently tell them:
- You did a great job
- Good for you!
- I like very much playing with you!
- What a nice drawing!
- That was a good trial!
- You are so careful!
- Thank you for your help!
- You have a good memory!
- What a good idea!
- Let’s play!
Let us try doing these things and permanently remember that: the best thing you may do for your children is to encourage them to develop a positive self perception. And it is maybe, the only thing they would thank you for, later on.