The spiral of awareness in spiritual growth processes represents the impossibility to become unconscious again, once you have started to become aware of what is going on with you.
I don’t know how it’s possible that, on the road towards ourselves, exactly when we dare to say “I learned this lesson”, “I will never do this again”, “I know how things are around here”, life confronts us with a deeper layer of the same issue that we considered solved.
And, all of a sudden, we find ourselves again in front of the class, like children in school. Trying to remember the unlearned lesson.
Allowing Life to teach us the spiritual growth lesson once more, from a deeper point of view, so than this time we let it sediment in our soul, is an act of great courage and humbleness in the same time.
The spiral of awareness in life situations
I promised I will not try and save my parents again and I used to be proud for having managed to do it. Until the day came when I realised that a part of me is ready to do for them whatever it takes. Out of an immense love and a need to belong to them.
And then I had to look at that part in me that is ready to sacrifice anytime for the dear ones and to tell her that I know she’s there and many times she leads my life. I had to understand, at a profound level, how much I sometimes forget to live my own life, by relating too much to my dearest ones’ lives.
I thought I had learned the lesson of compromise, promising myself that I will never do what I don’t feel like doing. I used to be very proud with the limits I managed to set in my life and with how easily I would say No when I felt like saying no. Until an old friend asked me something that I normally wouldn’t have done. But which I felt I wanted to do, to help my friend.
A never-ending process
I thought I acquired a certain degree of wisdom and understanding Life, until something, that seemed impossible for me to accept, appeared on my path. Life went on and things that were unacceptable for me some years ago became a part of life. Now I just wonder what will be the next “unacceptable” thing will come across my life.
I thought I lived the maximum of happiness in my life. Until I was bound to see a glimpse of an even greater happiness that was not concrete yet, but that existed.
I thought that in my suffering the whole world could end. Until I met someone who really suffered and who showed me that the depths of human pain cannot even be suspected.
Many times, during my spiritual growth and awakening process, I used to believe that this is as much as it gets. That I got to understand so much and to perceive everything so profoundly, that there is nowhere to go anymore.
And then, exactly in the next moment of my arrogance, someone, somewhere showed me the next stair I needed to descend on, in order to get to the true core of things.
This is the spiral of spiritual growth: a never-ending process
Sometimes it is a gift, other times it is a burden. It depends on the moment we are in, in our lives. From time to time it offers us some oxygen before taking us to the next level of depth in us.
When we start the journey of the spiral, we don’t know for sure where we will get. We can only know one thing for sure: it’ll be a trustworthy companion in any moment of our lives.