Narcissism and codependence
In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a Boeotian hunter known for his beauty. Intoxicated by his own self-image, he rejected all possibility of a romantic relationship all his life, eventually falling in love with his own image reflected in the water, which he continued to look at for the rest of his life, leaving no room for anyone else in his world.
In clinical psychology, narcissistic personality disorder is a reality that affects many people, to a greater or lesser degree of pathology. From a relational point of view, along with codependence, narcissism is among the main causes for which so far the harmonious couple relationships have been difficult to manifest so far on this planet.
I’ll talk to you below about my perspective. From my point of view, narcissism is a demon, a collective field of exacerbated self-importance that covers a great deal of trauma. Trauma usually comes from childhood, when the inner child was induced very early to feel that he is not good at anything.
It is a wound of humiliation so great that a narcissistic adaptation was needed for survival. Repeated humiliation of a child, the repeated transmission of the message that something is wrong with him are things that gradually dig into the soul and make room for this entity to take control. This narcissistic entity can’t stand to look at itself and see how shitty feels inside, so it turns the mirror towards all those trapped in its field, to make those around it feel like shit. Thus, this collective demon provides his food. In other words, in the field of someone suffering from narcissism, you feel like the last person in the world without being able to explain exactly why.
We all have a healthy dose of narcissism: it is that healthy ego and healthy self-image that we need to have in order to function as human beings on earth. And we were all exposed to narcissism, because it was the preferred model of adaptation to the trauma of many of our parents and ancestors.
Narcissism and codependence: the same wound, different adaptations
But there are two ways to adapt to the same wound: some adapt by shrinking energetically, reducing their energy presence, their needs, their voice, their field and conveying the message: I don’t want to bother anyone, maybe someone will suddenly get mad at me (as my mother and father did) and I’d like to avoid that. So I’m getting smaller than I should be. And so I become codependent. These people have an exaggerated need for someone outside of them to approve of them and become “people pleaser” so that everyone else likes and loves them. And this ensures that their inner baby is protected.
Others adapt the other way around: they cover their sense of worthlessness with narcissistic infatuation and don’t give a shit about the needs of those around them. Just as no one ever gave a shit about their needs as a child. Fundamental respect for another human being, empathy for the other, the ability to negotiate boundaries and find a compromise between personal needs and the needs of the other, the willingness to take responsibility for a misbehaviour – all these things does not exist in this type of narcissistic adaptation.
On the other hand, those who have reduced themselves and become co-dependent tend to be overly responsible, to take the feelings of others personally, not to express their needs, and to have too much empathy.
Thus, narcissism and codependence are breaches that most of us have in the energy field, because we all come from traumatized families.
Narcissism and co-dependence in the couple
In the context of couples, what I noticed is that there is usually a type A adaptation with a type B adaptation – a codependent with a narcissist. There is the same breach created in the field for both, the gap created by childhood abuse. One partner has a narcissistic adaptation and the other will be a codependent who will try everything and bend himself over backwards to make the relationship work, although it can never work, from this deeply dysfunctional pattern of narcissism and co-dependence.
Sometimes we swing between the two adaptations in the same relationship. And, most of the time, if we look back from one relationship to another we can see that in some relationships in the past we have shown more codependent adaptation and in others narcissistic adaptation to protect our inner child from our partner on whom, through eyes of trauma, we begin to project the image of our childhood aggressor.
What has been happening collectively in recent years is that this dynamic has influenced timelines where there is the potential for Sacred Union between Masculine and Feminine. Many souls who have in their fields immeasurable compassion, unconditional love and boundless light have been exposed to this collective demon who unleashed the hell of narcissistic abuse on their souls, under the pretext that there is a sacred connection that must be maintained at all costs because that it’s the most important thing on Earth.
Spiritual narcissism is the finest form of abuse that can exist. This type of abuse uses your wounds – which we all have on some level – to make you feel like you don’t deserve love, that you have to work with one to fit in, that you’re not okay at all how are you and so on. Any justified and legitimate human need is turned against you by the spiritual narcissist, under various pretexts excused by a false spiritualism that is actually abuse: “You should be more spiritual and needless. You should work harder with yourself and not have any expectations any longer. You should be super healed and you still have a lot of work to do so you don’t bother me with this nonsense – which basically are your legitimate needs “
All of these behaviours have brought to light the codependency in many of us, helping us to see how much we have left ourselves behind inly to maintain the illusion of a soul connection that we could not give up to. This was a spiritual initiation for many of us that helped us to distinguish between codependence and love, between illusion and truth.
What I’ve been feeling lately is that it’s time to change the timeline of conscious relationships on earth. The Divine Feminine and Masculine must cease to sustain such energies in its field of energy. Narcissism and codependence are not Sacred Union. There are dysfunctional patterns that we need to clean up on the way to the Sacred Union.
It is a collective recovery of the soul that we need to do now, cleansing this pattern that must be dissolved from its root.
So that we can enter the organic timeline of the Sacred Union between Male and Female, on a collective level, from which we learn to have conscious relationships from Love, Sovereignty, and personal power.